


Deep Breath, Deep Breath

by SomewhereNotHere



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Comfort, Established Relationship, Insecurity, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-18 18:11:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16522148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomewhereNotHere/pseuds/SomewhereNotHere
Summary: Even after all this time, Yosuke still finds he's insecure.





	Deep Breath, Deep Breath

**Author's Note:**

> [sticks my leggy out] souyo from me at the end of 2018? It's more likely than you think

"Ugh, that's it! Study break." Yosuke throws his hands in the air in defeat, the piles and piles of reference materials in the form of books and notes, along with his laptop, are now abandoned on the table as he moves up off the floor towards the kitchen.

There's a delicious scent wafting in from the room, and as soon as Yosuke steps over the threshold his nostrils are hit with the most enticing aromas he's smelt of the entire week. University food just doesn't cut it compared to Souji's.

"You know, once I graduate law, I'm gonna get a job that will really help towards this place more. I'll treat you to dinner too."

"A full-time job would kill you right now, and anyway, the amount you do bring in even with classes is fine. Don't worry about it, Yosuke."

Yosuke rolls his eyes, yet he can't help but smile. Souji's right; university is a whole different ball game, and he's lucky enough to have even got the part-time job at the café near where they live. It's two streets down from the apartment, which means he saves on travelling too.

The older landlady isn't half bad either, taking pity on Yosuke for reminding her of her son. Apparently he'd been a quiet, composed young boy, which earned a chuckle from Souji.

 _"Nothing like you."_ he'd laughed at the time.

"Still, it'd be nice to do something for you..." Yosuke mutters under his breath, moving forward to where Souji stands by the kitchen counter, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Chocolate cake? Is that something else on the stove over there too?"

"We can't eat cake as a main meal, Yosuke." Souji chuckles as he hears Yosuke whine next to his ear, "Besides, I thought you might be hungry for something more than that."

It's only ramen, but "the good kind" as dubbed by Yosuke. The kind that makes you feel happily stuffed and warm inside, like when a mother cooks for you the first time you come back home after a long while.

... Maybe Yosuke should ring his parents sometime.

"I wonder how Yukiko-san and Chie are doing. Hopefully not starving to death or just eating steak all day every day."

Souji nudges Yosuke in the ribs with his elbow and points to the bowls on the side, signalling for him to help plate up the food. He waves his hand with a "yeah, yeah" and grins from ear to ear. Study hunger is a killer and Yosuke's glad to be able to kick it to the curb.

"Yukiko's been helping more with the inn, and Chie has been right by her side. Apparently they can cook rather well these days too."

Yosuke's mouth drops open dramatically, "No way, seriously!?"

"Seriously. Now hurry up and eat."

 

* * *

 

In between lectures, Yosuke finds himself spending most of his time in the library. Now that he has a goal for himself, studying is so much easier compared to his time at Yasogami High School. The workload is more stressful in comparison, ridiculously overwhelming on Yosuke's worst days, but he pushes through it. Of course, studying isn't the only thing he does while in the library; he'll often plug his headphones into his laptop to listen to his favourite podcasts or songs, whenever there's a need for him to recharge from an overload of work. Texting Souji is a pastime he enjoys while relaxing there too.

_But what if I bother him too much?_

Yosuke scratches the back of his head and looks down at his phone, noticing the amount of messages sent in the last couple of minutes. There are a lot of them. Mostly his own. _Ah..._

                > I'm glad you're having a good day

His phone buzzes and he jolts so violently his headphones fall off. It's a short reply, but a reply nonetheless, yet _why does he feel so bad about it?_

                > sorry 2 bother u

                > You're not a bother, Yosuke

_You'd say that even if I was, Souji..._

Souji was kind, straightforward, good with dealing with a variety of situations and knew how to handle people well. Yosuke often envied that. He could hardly help himself most days.

Pushing his headphones back up on his head, he hits the play button on his laptop, his music blasting through his ears. No more than five minutes later his phone buzzes again. This time his headphones stay on as it buzzes on the desk, yet the anxiety starts seeping through him.

                > What's brought that thought on?

His body starts to feel heavier, chest tighter, and his breathing isn't calm at all. It's an overreaction, he knows it, but he can't stop it from happening. How is he supposed to answer that? Honestly? Avoid it, and carefully change the subject without Souji noticing what he's done? _No, lying wouldn't do._ If he lied it'd only make him feel worse.

_Calm down, calm down..._

                > well i mean ur busy a lot & i message a lot, & isn't it a bother? annoyin? we don't have 2 talk all the time thru the day, i kno, but sometimes i still want 2 talk 2 u. isn't it too much?

                > Yosuke, I enjoy talking to you. Have I done something to imply I don't?

"No, that's not it." Yosuke mutters under his breath, inhaling almost immediately after to control his body from shaking.

It's something so stupid to get worked up over, and yet...

                > no, never!! just i message u a lot first i guess, so... maybe it means u don't wanna talk as much or somethin... i dunno, man, ignore me, i'm not makin any fuckin sense haha

                > Yosuke, come home as quickly as you can, alright? I want to talk to you in person.

                > 'kay

"Good fucking going,  Hanamura."

If the ground opened up and swallowed him whole right now, he'd say thank you.

 

* * *

 

As soon as Yosuke gets into the apartment, Souji is standing there in the hallway, arms crossed over his chest, an almost unreadable expression on his face. Is he angry? Sad? Yosuke's seen him serious so many times before, but not this kind of look. It activates his fight or flight response, but he's too much of a coward to move back or forward, so he just stands there looking awkward.  


"So..."

"Yosuke."

Without giving himself time to process what's happening, a pair of arms are around him in a flash, pulling him tight and close. _Souji's warm._ It's the first thing he notices. Very warm. It's calming, comfortable, a feeling he wishes could permanently be with him forever to get him through his worst days.

"Um... Souji, I'm sorry, I guess I was being stupid, you know, guess I've not changed much since the battle against my Shadow, huh? It's so fucking stupid, wow, I'm so stupid, I'm really sorry partner, I don't mean to drag you down all the time and--"

"Yosuke, shut up."

Souji's arms hold him tighter, and Yosuke gulps and forces the tears down that were threatening to fall from the corner of his eyes. _Pathetic._

"I'm here whatever you're going through. You're not a bother. You're important to me, nothing will change that, and I'll remind you any time you need it."

"Which will, uh," Yosuke finally finds his voice and pulls back to look at Souji, those tears he pushed down visible again, "Probably be a few times because I'm a dumbass."

"That's okay," Souji smiles, wiping at the corners of Yosuke's eyes, "I'll keep reminding you then."

"Thanks, partner. I, uh... I honestly don't know what I'd do without you in my life, you know?"

"Likewise, Yosuke, and I'm not going anywhere."

_Yeah..._

Yosuke finally finds his own smile.

"And neither am I."


End file.
